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[Celebrating 70 Years of the Beastly Drummer to Clapton’s Half-Century Comeback! Blasting Legends Prove That "Rock Has No Retirement"!] Hey hey hey, how’s it going with you and your best friend, the eternal distortion known as ringing ears!? It's your writer Johnny Thunderstone! Ever since my ENT doctor screamed at me to "get away from the amplifier," well over a decade has passed, and 90% of my dresser is still packed with black band tees! To all you rock kids who scream in your hearts every time you fold laundry, "They might all look the same to mom, but they're different!", are you ready?! If you flip through the calendar where the gods of heavy metal and hard rock reside, today's fierce history is getting our blood pumping all over again. Take a trip around the news and you'll see graying legends still blasting ear-splitting noise right on the front lines. Today, I'm gonna slam you with some piping-hot topics that’ll make you want to headbang until your neck bones crack! --- …