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【My hips are aching and I can't get any work done! From Ed Sheeran's Batman nipple suit to Andy Boay's ultra-cool multi-tracked recordings, here's a rapid-fire round of mind-shaking latest news!】 Hey party people! It’s Funky Dave Monroe, and the funk gods have descended upon my waistline once again tonight, making my fingers tap on the keyboard like a slap bass thumb-smack! "An article without a groove is like flat cola—or worse, watered-down leftover oolong tea," I figure, as I dance-step to the beats blasting from my speakers while dodging the editor's collar-grab warning to "just write the damn piece already." I'll confess the truth: even this morning while gripping a strap on the commuter train, a 16-beat clavinet was looping endlessly in my head, and before I knew it, I was headbanging fiercely while shooting passionate eye contact at the salaryman next to me. It's nothing short of a miracle I wasn't reported to security. As a groove-addicted writer, I'm here to serve up a non-stop stream of the wildest topics shaking up bodies and brains across the global music scene! Is everybody ready to move that waist!? …