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[Calling on that Ohio spirit! How a 5-minute dense groove from former NBA hopeful Nate Lark and the birthday of funky queen Terry Ellis made my knees buckle] Hey hey hey! How are we doing today, all you funk addicts and groove fiends across the universe, shaking those hips?! I’m Funky Dave Monroe, the bassline specialist for JOCOLLA Music News! Let me apologize first. This morning, right as I was passing through the station’s automatic ticket gate, top-tier 16-beat rhythms came flooding through my earphones. I subconsciously busted out a razor-sharp slide step, and my Suica card went flying from the reader in completely the wrong direction, slamming my crotch hard right into the gate. The station attendant’s cold, chilling gaze of "Sir, are you alright?"... But my soul is burning! Because some incredible, hip-rocking news just flew in! I’m gonna share this mega-sized vibe courtesy of the funk gods with you right now! C'mon! …