【【Excavated Groove】A Philly hidden treasure that will knock you off your feet! Drown in the ultimate waves of soul and funk unleashed by The Futures!】 Hey party people! Are you out there shaking your hips and feeling good today!? I'm Funky Dave Monroe, the groove addiction specialist for JOCOLLA Music News! Out of nowhere, let me make a confession. This morning in a packed commuter train, I inadvertently busted out some fancy steps while holding onto a strap, moving to a Philly soul bassline leaking from my earphones. I got showered with cold glares from surrounding passengers thinking, "What is this guy doing during the morning rush hour?", but I have no regrets. Because where funk and soul are playing, the universe's ultimate truth is that your pelvis moves before the law! Just now, staggering with joy and doing a celebratory dance while clutching my head, some huge news (or rather, info on unearthing a buried masterpiece!) has flown in. The overseas media outlet "Soul Tracks" has shone a spotlight on a masterpiece by The Futures, Philadelphia's under-the-radar powerhouse vocal group! …

【The Festival Whose Beach Was Washed Away, and the Whim of the Blues God—Santa Monica’s Ordeal That Even Jack White Wept Over】 There are nights when, swirling a glass of cheap whiskey, I can't help but think: life is just like the moment you carefully restring your guitar and get the tuning utterly perfect, only for the high E string to *snap*. Precisely such a calamity—one that could only be the work of the blues god winking maliciously—struck Santa Monica, a place that was supposed to be bathed in West Coast sunshine. The "Ocean Way Festival," grandly slated to feature Jack White, The Killers, and Olivia Dean, was forced to cancel due to the unprecedented reason that "the beach was eroded by waves and vanished." ### The Beach Disappeared Before the Guitars Could Roar …

[Giant Mammoth x Full-Color Roar! Why Headbanging Won't Stop After Baroness's John Baizley Suddenly Joins Mastodon's Fall Tour] Tinnitus is the badge of honor of rock 'n' roll! What's up, I'm Johnny Thunderstone, a writer who has been suffering from the chronic illness of opening my home closet and finding only black band tees for a quarter of a century! Hey hey hey, take off your earplugs right now (no, wait, keep them on securely for blast-volume protection) and listen to this. While scrolling on my smartphone while gripping a strap on the commuter train, I was about to let out a deep, guttural roar that would have left the surrounding passengers in the dust. Incredible news has just dropped that John Baizley, the frontman of Baroness, is making an emergency entry into the live lineup for the fall tour of Atlanta's homegrown behemoths, Mastodon! Heavy rock's biggest stars merging together?! To put this combination into perspective, it's the heaviness equivalent of dumping a katsu curry onto a ramen bowl with all the toppings at a Jiro-style ramen shop. Another page of deafening noise is about to be carved into the history of sludge and progressive metal! …

[Turnstile Comes to Five Guys?! The Truth Behind the "Where's the Veggie Burger?" Incident That's Making Groove Fanatics Shake Their Hips] Leaping right off the lined manuscript paper, this bassline is coming straight for your hips! Hey everyone, I'm Funky Dave Monroe—a writer possessed by the ghost of funk who loves offbeats more than three square meals a day! Heavy riffs, a punch-you-in-the-chest beat, and that supreme bouncing groove that forces anyone who hears it to start stepping on the dancefloor. That's right, the modern era's ultimate groove monsters disguised as a hardcore band, Turnstile, have just dropped some seriously juicy news! It turns out that the legendary US diner-style burger chain Five Guys has chosen them as a Featured Artist. But here's the real kicker: the parting shot they dropped in the social media comments section was so brilliantly hilarious that this writer had to stop his working background music just to burst out laughing! …

【The Miracle Etched by the "Beard" Without a Beard—Warren Haynes Reveals Why ZZ Top Drummer Frank Beard Was "Perfect"】 Drop an ice cube into a glass of cheap whiskey, and place a dusty Texas record on the turntable. Lower the needle, and a humid shuffle takes over the room. There are three things in life you simply cannot escape: taxes, a steadily growing number of gray hairs, and the one-and-only groove of ZZ Top. On August 17, 2026, the rock world lost an irreplaceable heartbeat. It was the sad news of the passing of Frank Beard, the drummer who held down ZZ Top's rhythm for over half a century. While the world was enveloped in a sense of loss, living legend of American roots music and guitarist Warren Haynes opened up about his deep fondness for him on the podcast Blues Rock Show. "Ever since I discovered their music when I was 12 years old, I've been a huge ZZ Top fan," Haynes shared. He's well aware that Billy Gibbons' earthy yet sharp guitar and the late Dusty Hill's growling bass and vocals are the band's calling cards. But Haynes asserts that the presence of Frank Beard was what truly made the trio a powerhouse. …

【【SCANDAL】If Maynard hadn't taught Drop D, Rager's masterpiece wouldn't exist!? The intersection of sub-bass metal and Sabbath's stubborn old man】 My ears won't stop ringing. Yesterday's blast of sound was so brutal my eardrums are still screaming, but then some mind-blowing news drops that instantly turns even this ringing into a sweet background track! Hey all you rock guitarists, go down-tune the 6th string of your guitar by a whole step right now! Turns out that innovative riff master Tom Morello of Rage Against The Machine confessed that he learned his signature "Drop D tuning" directly from Tool's charismatic frontman, Maynard James Keenan. …

[Your waist will automatically start doing 80s steps! Celebrate and dance like crazy for the legendary "megaton voice" Ali Ollie Woodson, who saved The Temptations from their dark ages!] Hey hey hey, all 30 million funk addicts across the country! How's it going, are you still eating plain white rice fueled by basslines? It's your funky & groovy man, Funky Dave Monroe—the kind of guy who hears even the keystrokes on his keyboard clicking away like a 16-beat snare! Out of nowhere, a question. Have you ever experienced a moment where "the vocals were so thick and massive, the elastic in your sweatpants snapped the instant you heard them?" Let me confess the honest truth. Yesterday, while crammed on a rush-hour train, I took a blast of Ali Ollie Woodson's vocals straight through my earphones, and before I knew it, I was nearly breaking out into a full snake dance while clinging to a strap. The cold stares from the salaryman next to me? Non-stop—no way, brushing off stuff like that with delay effects is the true funk way. …

[Did a Sweet Disco Classic Transform into Muddy-Water Blues? The Night Cheap Whiskey Flows Because of Eddie 9V's New Single "Rock Your Baby"] The angular ice in a glass of cheap bourbon clinks in the dead of night. With a sidelong glance of worry for the antacids in the drawer, I was searching for a record to drop the needle on when some incredible news flew into my ears. Atlanta’s own young soul guitar slinger, Eddie 9V, had just dropped a new single covering George McCrae’s massive 1974 hit, "Rock Your Baby." I nearly dropped my glass, and in a frantic attempt to catch it with my knee, I thoroughly walloped my thigh. There is nothing quite as tragic as a man in his fifties writhing in agony alone in the middle of the night, but this was a shock fierce enough to blow even that pain away. …

【【EMERGENCY】CANDLEMASS Heavyweight Vocalist Hospitalized, But the Show Must Go On! & Don't Miss Danny Worsnop's Soulful Roar!】 Can't stop your ears from ringing? Bring it on, that's the proof we're alive! Headbangers across the nation, are you making your cervical vertebrae scream today too?! I'm Johnny Thunderstone, the blasting shock trooper of JOCOLLA Music News! Instead of a morning alarm, I blast Black Sabbath's heavy low-end riffs, and last week I finally received a handwritten polite note from my next-door neighbor saying, "Could you at least turn down the bass knob?" Today I'm slamming that burning metal soul right into my keyboard to bring you this update! Now, what just dropped is a stomach-shrinking emergency mixed with a rapid-fire succession of hot news that'll make you pump your fists. Read it with your heart braced! …

[Hips automatically walking the catwalk! Lion Babe drops top-tier dance tune "Fashion Week" with producer Never Dull, leaving dancefloors on the brink of explosion tonight!] Hey hey hey! Groove addicts across the nation, living and breathing on that beat today?! It's your boy Funky Dave Monroe, the man whose hips start bustin' out an 8-beat before he even picks up a pen! Out of nowhere, but let me apologize. This morning, the second I walked through the automatic doors of my local convenience store while listening to this new track, I unconsciously struck a razor-sharp model pose. The cashier just stared at me with that classic look of total bewilderment, asking, "......Would you like that heated up?" But I have no regrets. Because my soul just started dancing on its own! That's right, the heavyweight party tune we're introducing this time is the latest track "Fashion Week" by New York's ultimate stylish duo, Lion Babe! …