Can't Stop Shaking Those Hips! Beverley Knight's Classic The B-Funk 30th Anniversary Remaster & Killer Groove Tours Inbound! Hey everyone, getting enough funk in your system?! It’s Funky Dave Monroe, JOCOLLA Music News’ number-one groove junkie! This morning, I was brewing coffee and stepping to a bassline when I slam-dunked my pinky toe right into the corner of the table. But did I cry in pain? Nope, my body was already bouncing on the snare’s backbeat before I could even register the hurt. That's right—there’s not a single second of downtime for a funk addict! And now, some top-tier news just dropped that’s blasting my hype all the way into the stratosphere! …

From a man raised sleeping on juke joint floors to an ex-prodigy cutting through the chaos—in 2026, the soul of the blues isn't fading, it's greasier than ever. Sipping cheap whiskey late at night, a thought crossed my mind: "Why do we take life's pain, cram it into three chords and twelve bars, and happily chug our drinks to it?" There’s no real answer. But scrolling through tonight’s blues news, a warm fire ignited deep in my gut. No matter how high-tech the world gets, the gritty soul of the bluesmen shows zero signs of drying up. In fact, it’s getting greasier and juicier by the day. ### ■ The Man Whose Cradle Was a Club Floor: The Bloodline of Stud Ford …

[Do the Metal Gods Ever Sleep?! From Judas Priest Recording New Music to Anthrax Getting "Grown-Up" and Nickelback's Bizarre Ad, the HR/HM World is Shaking!] Hey, hey, hey! To all 10 million headbangers across the nation, are you still best friends with your tinnitus today?! It’s your resident rock maniac Johnny Thunderstone from JOCOLLA Music News! If you open my closet, 90% of it is black band tees, and I lead a life where my family has to tackle me to stop me from wearing a studded belt with my formal suits! Today, I’m bringing you a massive blast of scorching-hot, hilarious HR/HM news—the kind that made me shout "WOAAAH!?" on the commuter train and get a serious double-take from the salaryman sitting next to me! Crank the volume to the max, plug straight into the amp, and come along for the ride!…

Getting Fired by Prince Was the Start of a Legend!? From Jam & Lewis' Historic Milestone to Durand Bernarr's Fire New Track, the Funk Groove Never Stops! Hey there, to all 10 million funk freaks out there! Are your fluorescent lights flickering to the rumble of heavy basslines tonight? It's your boy, writer Funky Dave Monroe! Confession time: on my morning commute today, I unconsciously started grinding my hips to the punchy kick of some heavy 80s synth-funk, prompting the suited-up salaryman next to me to give me a bewildered look and ask, "Um... did you drop something?" No, my good sir, what I dropped wasn't my wallet—it was my sense of self-restraint! Now, for all you groove junkies ready to risk back pain, here’s a massive roundup of earth-shaking funk history and the latest electrifying news! …

A Night to Weep Over Unearthed Gregg Allman Live Tapes: Drink in the Blues Before the Ice Melts As night falls, I pop the cheap cork on a bottle of cheap whiskey. Staring at the amber liquid filling my glass, my heart is burning up with pure excitement. Wondering what's got me so worked up? Thank God, thank Buddha, and thank the Blues Gods. An unreleased live recording from the legendary Gregg Allman is finally being unleashed upon this world. Life's daily heartaches—even the trauma of accidentally dropping and cracking raw eggs at the convenience store yesterday—can all be washed away by 12 bars of the blues. Tonight, let me serve up some top-shelf blues and roots news that'll shake your soul and put a grin on your face. --- …

[BREAKING: Metal God Descends into Outer Space?! Nickelback Fuses with Snack Food?! This Week’s Metal Scene Is So Chaotic Your Neck Will Snap] Hey, hey, hey! How’s it going, all you headbangers across the nation still nursing that ringing in your ears?! It's your resident rock fanatic Johnny Thunderstone from JOCOLLA Music News—the guy who can’t even wake up in the morning without a blast of raw distortion noise straight to the face! Today, rocking my favorite black band tee (my wife just gave me that look after realizing my entire drawer is literally identical black tees), I'm back to deliver some face-melting news that’ll make you feel like you just shoved your head into a cranked-up amplifier stack! The hard rock and heavy metal scene this week has completely lost its mind. I can't even keep up with all the madness. Let’s dive straight into this chaotic blast!…

【[BREAKING] Earth, Wind & Fire’s Unreleased Funk Jam "Writing On The Wall" Unearthed After Nearly 40 Years, and It Blew My Mind!】 Hey everybody! This is Funky Dave Monroe, your resident groove-addicted writer who can't help busting out dance steps the second a funk beat drops—whether I'm in a meeting or brushing my teeth! Funky people everywhere, get on your feet and stretch right now, because an absolute treasure has just been unearthed from the underground vault! The legendary Earth, Wind & Fire recorded a phantom masterpiece called "Writing On The Wall" back in 1987, and after sitting locked away for nearly 40 years, its existence has finally been revealed! Oh my god—the Earth, the Wind, the Fire, and my own heart are all about to explode! …

"What Even Is 'Retirement'?" The Superhuman Legend of 88-Year-Old Buddy Guy and the Red-Hot State of the Blues in 2025 Pouring cheap whiskey into my glass late at night and listening to the ice clink, I couldn't help but look up at the ceiling and think: "Come on, legends. Don’t you know the word 'rest' in Japanese... or rather, English?" I, Memphis Ray, supposedly a seasoned veteran of life’s ups and downs, have completely lost count of how many "blues addiction relapses" I've had this year. Today, let’s dive into the insane heat taking the 2025 blues world by storm—served with a side of my own aching lower-back pathos. ### 88-Year-Old Buddy Guy: Busier *After* Announcing His "Touring Retirement"?…

【[A Bloody Courtroom Battle Over a Name] FKA twigs Countersues 90s Band "The Twigs"! Rock’s Biggest Landmine—The Duplicate Band Name Dilemma—Has Just Been Ignited!】 Hey, hey, hey! It's your resident rock idiot Johnny Thunderstone, living my life convincing myself that my tinnitus is just sweet amp feedback! My ENT doctor keeps telling me that “further exposure to explosive volumes will cause irreversible damage,” but I just can’t kick my habit of forgetting my earplugs and charging straight into the front row at live venues! Today, the guy whose closet contains literally nothing but black band tees is back to deliver news that'll hit you right in the chest! Today's scoop: avant-pop mastermind FKA twigs has filed a lawsuit against 90s duo The Twigs—the very act that once pressured her into changing her name—fighting for the legal rights to her artist moniker! Every music fan runs into the “duplicate band name dilemma” sooner or later. From the indie underground to major label giants, it’s a colossal landmine in rock history that has claimed countless pints of blood and tears! …