【Hips Swinging Warning: Michael Franks and Valerie Simpson's Exquisite Collab "Now Love Has No End" Pierces the Funk Soul Across Space and Time】 Hey hey hey, groove addicts of the world, unlock those stiff pelvises right now! It's Funky Dave Monroe, and my fingers are already bouncing like crazy on the upbeat as I type this! The "Lost Gem" section of the music media outlet Soul Tracks has dug up another unbelievable treasure. They've featured "Now Love Has No End," a miraculous duet by Michael Franks, one of the coolest guys in jazz/AOR, and Valerie Simpson, the soul queen who shook up the '70s and '80s soul and funk scenes as part of Ashford & Simpson and crafted countless Motown masterpieces! I'll make a full confession. This morning, I found myself listening to this track on a packed commuter train, and before I knew it, my left shoulder was swaying and I was about to bust out some fierce upbeat steps. The salaryman next to me gave me a chilly look that screamed, "What on earth is this guy fighting at 8:00 AM?", but there's no time to worry about that. Because the groove is calling me!…

【Midnight Cheap Booze and the Conspiracy of Groaning Strings: The Soul-Stripping Magic of the Double Album Unleashed by Jim Jarmusch and Jozef van Wissem】 2 a.m., when the ice in a glass of cheap whiskey melts with a clink and a sigh blends into cigarette smoke. The men who know best in this world what kind of music should be played at such an hour have returned once more. Jim Jarmusch: film director, incomparable audio maniac, and wielder of flowing silver hair. And Jozef van Wissem: the peerless lute player born in the Netherlands. These battle-hardened veterans have dropped an absolute bombshell via Sacred Bones, the conscience of the indie world. They are simultaneously releasing a paired double album titled 'Bocca di Lupo' and 'Mouth of the Wolf' on November 6. Furthermore, they’ve unleashed a new single as a pre-release, "Never Like You Said," featuring Australian treasure Courtney Barnett. Let’s confess the truth. The moment this news caught my eye, I spilled a generous amount of the whiskey I was drinking in my late-night room right onto my lap. My favorite vintage flannel shirt is now soaked in the smell of alcohol, but even that sorrow starts to feel like the opening bar of a blues song—truly, the magic of music is a scary thing. …

[Even if you had ten necks, it still wouldn't be enough! Snot and Bleeding Through collide in California! Total moshers in tears guaranteed as two frenzied shows are announced] My ears won't stop ringing! Well, going to live houses all the time has messed up my hearing for the last 20 years, but the second I saw this news, my internal brain amp started screaming with high-pitched feedback all at once! Believe it or not, that very Snot and Bleeding Through, plus Breaking In A Sequence and Saltwound—a brutally lethal lineup practically begging to put people through a meat grinder in the mosh pit—have announced they're playing two shows in California! Whoa, whoa, are the tectonic plates in California gonna be okay? Is the West Coast gonna sink into the ocean from a magnitude 7 mosh pit?! …

【Hips Swinging on Their Own! Celebrating the Birthday of Motown's Hidden Mastermind Paul Riser, Sr.! A Funk-Addicted Writer Ascends to Heaven Due to Exquisite Arrangements】 Hey everybody! Are you surrendering your bodies to the funk beats tonight too? It's your funk-addicted party person, Funky Dave Monroe! I'll make a confession right off the bat: this morning in the middle of a packed rush-hour train, I was hit by the groove of the strings pouring out of my earphones and almost started busting out irregular steps to the swaying of the train. The salaryman next to me gave me a cold stare, but this is no time to care about that! Because today is the ultimate day to celebrate the birthday of Paul Riser, Sr., the legendary arranger who supported that very Motown Sound! ### Behind Every Great Track Is This Man! The Super Brain of the Funk Brothers …

[The "Too Rock for the Blues, Too Blues for the Rock" Problem—Eric Johanson Unleashes His Angry and Soulful New Album The Open Bayou] Sipping a glass of cheap whiskey in my study late at night, I sometimes find myself wondering. Why on earth are people in this world so obsessed with neatly labeling everything? "You're a bluesman," "You're a rocker," "You're just a middle-aged guy who drinks too much." That last one is a personal tragedy declared upon me just last week by the landlady of my neighborhood izakaya, but there is a man facing a similar—no, far more serious—identity crisis. That man is Eric Johanson, who channels the gritty spirit of Louisiana into his guitar. When I came across the lament he recently vented on social media, I couldn't help but slap my knee in agreement. He revealed that promoters and music industry folks have been hitting him with the exact same line for years. …

【Unreleased Early Van Halen Recordings Unearthed & Night Ranger Announce a Massive Tour! The Veterans Are Raising So Much Hell My Ears Won't Stop Ringing】 Hey, hey, hey! All you hard rock refugees out there, and all you guitar kids who aren't happy unless the amp knobs are cranked to "11"—are you alive?! It's Johnny Thunderstone, the guy whose tinnitus is a daily soundtrack, and whose wardrobe consists entirely of black band tees! I'm back today to drop a massive news bomb straight into your ears, no pedals attached! Hold onto your hearts for this one. Some absolute treasure from Van Halen is finally seeing the light of day! Plus, we've got an out-of-this-world, future-proof announcement from American hard rock's guiding light, Night Ranger! Tonight, grab a highball and get ready to headbang!! …

【Is D'Angelo's Neo-Soul DNA Exploding?! Son Michael Cast as Biggie in the Snoop Dogg Biopic! Shake Your Hips and Wait!】 Hey, hey, hey! How's it going, funk addicts across the universe?! It's your boy Funky Dave Monroe, here with my brain hacked by the bassline, running up the pedestrian overpass stairs today right on the snare hit! Whoa, whoa, wait a second. Let me tell you about the moment this massive news broke this morning, almost making me slam my freshly brewed hot coffee on my desk like a clavinet. The drumroll in my chest just won't stop! **D’Angelo**, the supreme deity of the neo-soul realm whose sticky, tangled funkness has broken the hips of tens of thousands of listeners. His very own son, **Michael D’Angelo Archer Jr.**, has somehow been cast as the legendary rapper **The Notorious B.I.G.**, a.k.a. Biggie Smalls, in the upcoming biopic *Snoop* about **Snoop Dogg**, scheduled for release next year! …

[Even After 15 Years of Absence, a Single Tremolo Makes Me Weep—The Return of Master Craftsman Buddy Miller Has Me Chugging Cheap Whiskey Again Tonight] Ice clinks against the bottom of a glass. Tonight’s sidekicks are a bottle of discount bourbon and a vacuum-tube amplifier quietly gathering dust in the corner of the room. On a night like this, incredible news dropped out of nowhere. American roots music treasure Buddy Miller has returned with a self-titled new album. What’s more, it’s his first solo release in a staggering 15 years. Fifteen years, man. Fifteen years ago, my crown still had some respectable volume to it, and that was before I became well-versed in the brand names of lower-back pain patches. A man who drifted away somewhere for all those years has returned with a face like, "I just stepped out for a quick cigarette," immediately knocking out top-tier sounds. This absurd coolness gives off the bittersweet sorrow of a fatherly lecture. …

【The doom lords Cathedral are back?! The masterpiece "The Guessing Game" is being reborn as brutally heavy and will strike in October!】 Hey to all ten million doom and sludge freaks across the country whose ears won't stop ringing, are you alive and soaking in the wall of sound?! It’s Johnny Thunderstone, the rock idiot who camps out way too close to the live house speakers and has completely ruined the hearing range of his left ear! Today I’m back at it again, cracking my cervical vertebrae while hammering away at my keyboard like it’s my sworn enemy! Now, shocking news that feels like taking a direct hit from an amp because you forgot your earplugs has just flown in from the UK. Lee Dorrian—the man who carved his name into grindcore history with Napalm Death before leading Cathedral to build the dark temple of doom metal—has made a move! It’s been decided that their massive 2010 double album, "The Guessing Game," will be dropped this coming October as a fully remixed edition titled "The Guessing Game (Rethink)"! …

【Warning: Uncontrollable Hip-Swinging Alert! R&B Heavyweight Tank Teams Up with Funk God Charlie Wilson to Blast the Dancefloor with the Ultimate Banger "Highlight"!】 Hey now, funk addicts of the galaxy, it's time to oil up those stiff knee joints right this second! Tank—the sexy capo of R&B who usually melts hearts with his sweet, honeyed bedroom vocals—has lost his mind (or perhaps received a divine revelation) and dropped a straight-up, four-on-the-floor dance jam guaranteed to scorch the dancefloor to ashes! And the sidekick he brought along is insane. We're talking house and dance music heavyweight producer MK, and none other than our living legend of funk, Uncle Charlie himself—Mr. Charlie Wilson! Honestly, this writer cranked the new track "Highlight" up to max volume on the crowded morning commute train today, and while holding onto the strap, my hips automatically started shaking in an eight-beat rhythm, earning me a double-take from the uncle sitting next to me. It's nothing short of a miracle the cops weren't called. That's how irresistibly magical this groove is!…