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[To all you men who have dedicated your ears to full blast! Norwegian heavyweights Aura Noir announce a surprise signing with legendary Peaceville Records and a comeback album for 2027! Don't miss Islander's cry of the soul and PRESIDENT's sacred ground live show either!] Hey hey hey, are you turning your amp volume all up to 11?! I'm Johnny Thunderstone, the rock-idiot writer whose eardrums are completely screaming from the nightly livehouse crawls you all know and love! Last night, thanks to sticking my head right into a Marshall cabinet in the front row, this morning's convenience store entrance chime—you know, the FamilyMart door jingle—sounded completely like the intro to Slayer's Angel of Death. Now that's what I call a serious condition! But some top-tier heavy news that'll wipe out that ear pain in one single blow has just flown in from across the seas! Are you ready for headbanging? Put on your cervical collar and follow along closely with me!…